NAME:SEAN VAN DUIKER
KNOWN AS: AS-WELL
BATTING STYLE: RIGHT HAND MIDDLE ORDER
BOWLING STYLE: RIGHT ARM VERY FAST
PREVIOUS CLUBS: PRETORIA HIGH SCHOOL OLD BOYS, CLAIREMONT CRICKET CLUB, CAPE TOWN
(BOTH IN SOUTH AFRICA)

COMMENTS:
SEAN IS THE CLUB'S SECOND SUCCESSIVE OVERSEAS PLAYER. SEAN HAS GIVEN US THE ASSURANCE THAT HE'LL LAST LONGER THAN THE PREVIOUS INCUMBENT HAS. SEAN HAS VERY QUICKLY INTEGRATED INTO THE CLUB, ESPECIALLY WITH THE YOUNGER SOCIALITES. ALWAYS QUICK TO SPOT AN OPPORTUNITY, HE CAN BE SEEN CHATTING UP YOUNG BARMAIDS, EXPLOITING THE FACT THAT HE HAS A FOREIGN ACCENT. ALTHOUGH IT'S TOO EARLY TO TELL IF HE'LL HAVE ANY SUCCESS WITH THIS TECHNIQUE, DODDIE, JD AND MIKEY BEE CAN ALL BE HEARD AROUND THE CLUB SCENE IMPERSONATING HIM.

SEAN COMES FROM A LONG LINE OF DUTCH EMIGRANTS, WHICH INCIDENTALLY INCLUDES TWO FAMOUS UNCLES. THE FIRST HIRES OUT TRUCKS, CARS AND LORRIES, YOU MAY HAVE HEARD OF HIM: HERTZ VAN RENTAL. THE SECOND UNCLE, LET'S CALL HIM PIET, HAD ASPIRATIONS TO BECOME AN ACTOR. HIS AGENT INSISTED THAT HE SHOULD HAVE A STAGENAME AND SO AFTER MUCH DELIBERATION HE CHOSE THE NAME "PENIS VAN LESBIAN". HIS AGENT WAS COMPLETELY SHOCKED AND TOLD HIM TO CHANGE IT TO SOMETHING MORE ACCEPTABLE OTHERWISE HE WOULDN'T GET ANY WORK. SO AFTER MUCH SOUL SEARCHING HE CAME UP WITH "DICK VAN DYKE", THE REST AS THEY SAY, IS HISTORY. WE WISH TOTTIE EVERY SUCCESS.